Submissive or Subversive? Part 3

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His and Hers

Ephesians 5:22-23 "For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body.  Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing."

I remember washing our first load of laundry in our new home.  My wonderful, new husband was helping me fold towels.  He wanted to fold the towels one way, and I wanted to fold them another way.  Needless to say, it all went down hill from there.  Neither way was technically wrong, but sides had been taken and the battle was intense!  There came a point where we had to sit down like rational human beings and decide which method of towel folding was "best" for our new home.  We can look back now and laugh about it, but I remember thinking even then how something so trivial could have become a stepping stone to bitterness and resentment in our marriage.

Ephesians 5:22-23 presents two analogies to help us understand our God-given roles in marriage.

                                                husband: wife as Christ: church
                                                                    and
                                                 wife: husband as church: Christ

The husband is to be the head of the wife just like Christ is the head of the church.

The wife is to be subject to the husband just like the church is to Christ.

In the fallen, sinful world that we live in both of these pictures are often warped, but that does not mean that God's Word or His plan for our lives has changed.

His Responsibility-

• Be the head of the home (like Christ)
• Love his wife (like Christ) Eph. 5:25
• as his own body
• nourish and cherish her
• be one flesh

Her Responsibility-

• Be subject (Yeah, that means submit!)
• to your own husband (as unto the Lord, like the church is supposed to be) Eph. 5:22 
• Be one flesh (leave and cleave) Eph. 5:31
• Reverence your husband Eph. 5:33
• respect him 
• don't waste time humiliating him, degrading him, and complaining to others
• build him up with praise (Prov. 31:23)
• listen to his advice/seek it
• accept his final word in decision making
• pray for him to be a godly leader in your home
• pray for your own attitude to line up with God's Word

Eye to Eye Q&A- How do you measure up your God-given responsibilities?

The world's image of the home so often degrades the role of the husband to the point that we are tempted to believe that our lives were meant to be in the same constant state of turmoil that we see around us.  Men are portrayed on television as being simple, inefficient, lazy, womanizing, selfish, etc., which is far from the Biblical image of the leader of the home.  It's time to change your WORLDVIEW!  God's commands to us as husband and wife are not based on conditional "if/then" circumstances.  God expects us to obey His Word.

What areas of God-given responsibility toward your husband do you struggle with the most?  Get it settled today!

Submissive or Subversive? Part 2

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Don't forget your umbrella!

 "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, 

as unto the Lord."

Ephesians 5:22

        As I pondered this verse I could picture in my mind a younger version of myself standing in the doorway of a store looking out on a crowded street as rain poured down from a sky that minutes before had been clear blue and full of sunshine.  The wiser people I see scurrying by have umbrellas, but I do not.  I hate getting my hair wet (especially if I've taken the time to make it look nice!) and I think to myself that it does not matter how ridiculous I look or how embarrassing it is, I am willing to do most anything to stay dry.  Being a quick thinker I decide to combine my purchases into one bag and streak across the parking lot like a crazy person with a plastic shopping bag tied around my head.  Was I able to salvage my hair style? Kind of.  Did I receive strange looks from others? Definitely.  Could I have prevented it? Yes!  If only I had remembered to bring my umbrella, underneath it I would have had all of the protection I needed!

        God has a safe haven of authority that He has designed for each of our lives and the Biblical mandate given in Ephesians 5:22 makes it very clear that wives are to submit themselves to their husbands in the Lord.  God's commands are just that, commands.  Not suggestions to ponder or things you might want to try to see if they work before you keep them.  A command is a command.  "No ifs, ands, or buts about it!"  So let's break it down and really digest what God wants us to do.

Submit basically means to yield your power to the authority of another.  Sometimes we believe, no...deceive ourselves into thinking that we ARE submissive because we have given up a little bit of our time and talents to do what God or our spouse desires but we have not fully yielded ourselves.  It is easy to submit when it is something I was already willing to do.  The true test of submission comes when what my authority chooses is is different from my own will and desire in that situation.  However, just as partial obedience is not obedience; partial submission is not submission.  It's all or nothing!

Submit to whom? To our own husbands.
Sometimes we are eager to please, obey, follow advice from, and respond kindly to other men whether it be in church, at school, at work or throughout our daily interactions.  We even pray for the Holy Spirit to guide our responses, but we fail to do so at home.  Submission must begin at home!  The submissive wife is under her husband's authority.  Why? Because that is the way God organized the home.  The subversive wife is always undermining her husband's authority.  How?  By speaking disrespectfully of him to others, by clinging to mom and dad's advice and wishes instead of "leaving and cleaving" as Genesis 2:24 commands, by assuming an "I'm in charge" of my own destiny attitude (which is actually a lie from the devil).

Submit how? As unto the Lord.
I love how verse 22 ends, because just as the fleshly side of you starts to puff up with pride and you are about to utter all of the 897 reasons why you cannot submit, or you are about to self righteously describe how you have tried and tried with that impossible man, it goes right to the heart of the matter.  God's chain of authority in our lives, starts with God Himself.  As a child of God, He is my ultimate authority.  As a child of my parents He placed me under their authority.  As a married woman, a transfer of authority took place from my father, to my husband.  God has the BEST plan, He knows the beginning from the end, and His design for marriage is perfect.  It is the sinful, fallen world that we live in that has warped and twisted what God intended for good into less than God's best.  If I am "walking in the light" of God's Word, and yielding the authority in my life to Him, and in turn to my husband, then I am seeking God's best, and He has promised to meet my every need.

Eye to Eye Q&A: As you hold up the mirror of God's Word to your life and you see yourself in God's eyes, what does the reflection hold?

1.  Fold a sheet of paper in half and list the times when submission is easy for you on one side and the times when it is not easy on the other side.  Pray over both sides, giving thanks to God for the good times, and begging for help to overcome selfish pride in the others.

2. Write a note to your husband thanking him for taking his God given responsibility to be the leader in the home.  Slip it somewhere he will notice it in an unexpected moment.  Then hide and wait for the surprised look on his face. Note: If he passes out from the shock, you have a lot of work to do! ;)

3.  Copy Ephesians 5:22 onto a note card and read it throughout the day asking God to show you ways that you can show a submissive spirit in your home.

Submissive or Subversive? Part 1

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When a woman walks down the aisle as a blushing bride her life changes in many ways.  Maybe before she was under the authority of her father living in his home, or maybe she lived on her own assuming she was in charge of her own destiny.  No matter the case, "with privilege comes responsibility" as the old adage says.  It is a privilege to stand and make a pledge before God and man to "love, honor, cherish, and obey".  However, we need to remember that with that choice to marry, according to God's Word, we are also choosing to submit to a new, God-ordained authority in our lives, our husband.  Ephesians 5 is one of those chapters in the Bible that we would sometimes like to glance over swiftly.  You know, you read it, you acknowledge it, but you rarely take the time to really study it out and apply it to your life.  Well why not?  It's time to look at yourself in the mirror and ask the question, "Am I a Submissive or Subversive Wife?"  Come along with me and take the test!

Defining the terms:

Submissive means that you are ready to submit.  You obey humbly and without resistance.
Submit means to give over or yield to the power or authority of another. (dicitonary.com)
Subversive means that you have a habit of subverting or promoting subversion.
Subvert means 1)to overthrow (something established or existing) 2)to cause the downfall, ruin, or destruction of 3)to undermine the principles of; corrupt  (dictionary.com)
 Ephesians 5:1-2 COMMANDS us, "Be ye therefore followers of God as dear children; And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour."

Eye to Eye Q&A:  

As you hold up the mirror of God's Word to your life and you see yourself in God's eyes, what does the reflection hold?
1) Am I following God and His Word as quickly and humbly as a child would?
2) Am I responding in Christ-like love to every situation in my life?
3) Does my life bring a smell "sweet" to God or stinky?